Politicians- Rogue Traders...

This is an entirely unscripted entry, I'm just taking one topic, opening my mind, and letting it all spill out.
What Politics is, in my opinion, is the art of selling nothing, claiming glory for one's self, and delivering nothing.
At one point in history, people didn't like who was in charge, and chose someone else to do it, and from there on, we have forever, and will forever, be stuck in a cycle of ego-maniacs trying to get the best for themselves, whilst pretending they are getting the best for you.
There is a General Election looming for the UK, and it seems to be going less on what the parties say they will do, but how good they are and avoiding answering questions. A good politician can give a lengthy speech on a question and after an hour, say thankyou and wander off without giving an answer.
It shouldn't be a popularity contest, he who kisses the most babies isn't automatically the best leader.
One thing that has always annoyed me is how the cabinet reshuffles will take the minister for health or something, and then shift them to be the minister for transport, or education.
That clearly shows political jobs would have to be advertised with "no experience necessary" at the bottom, as there is no way the best person to make decisions on one field will be the best person in something else a week after.
The same is with Sales really, a huge number of salesmen know sweet FA about what they are selling, it's the fact they can talk/bully someone into buying something they didn't really want.
There is no brand loyalty, one week they will tell you they have the best product on the market, the next week they'll swap to a competitor for more money and say the same thing.
Wave a cheque infront of one, and he'll lie and say whatever you need to hear for him to get the money.
They aren't interested in you getting a good deal, they just want to make themselves happy, at any cost.
Politics is the same. A politician will say anything for a vote, and the money that comes with it, as all it takes is a change of mind a few months later, and the promises die off.
Every week i get leaflets from some faceless lying scumbag with grainy pictures of what they have done, trying to make it look like they care.
There are photos of balding middle aged losers standing by potholes which they ring up the council, the council do the work and fill them in, and then Chubby takes the credit on another job well done.
Do they care? No.
All they will do is visit a few pensioners and sit bored whilst they moan about kids riding bikes too fast, or someone with a different skin tone parking their car in non British way, then pop outside, take a pic of some litter, ring the council and get someone else to clean it up, and head off for lunch, making sure they get a receipt to claim back for the steak and a pint in the local.
Feet up, big smile, another person suckered into a vote.

Get enough votes and you win a seat in the House of Commons, where you can have free lunches every day, a free house in London, and best of all, you don't actually have to go the the House of Commons!
There isn't a register or actual working hours, you just turn up for a while, maybe vote on a bill you weren't really listening too as you filled in the crossword, and then back to the flat to organise getting some decorators in!

You can see why they will be knocking on doors looking for votes, it's a ticket to the big easy.
Just remember, if someone asks you a question, first say how good a question it is, repharase the question, state the real question is something else, and keep on going til they look bored, and run off.
The expenses scandal was great. Everyone would claim for what they could if they were told it was allowed.
If your job gave you a free car and house, you'd jump at the chance.
The politicians took as much as they were told they could, but unfortunately for them, it was all leaked, and everyone could see they were just regular people looking for the most they could get their hands on.
Everyone does their job for money, it makes the world go round, but politicians spend so much time pretending that they are doing this just for the people, it does look bad when it turns out they aren't the saints they claim to be.

So to sum up, as a natural skeptic, my gift is x-ray vision, i can step back, ignore the glare and see what lies beneath.
The only people who are really selfless are the unknown charity workers who stay out of the press, and rebuild African villages. It's an insult to mention a politician in the same sentence (I did have a full stop between those sentences to cover my arse)

And as a final point, disregarding the fact that politicians are arseholes, what about the democratic system?
Take the usual comment of "half the people you know are below average".
Even look at yourself in the cold light of day, you can't really say much more than the fact you are also pretty average.
That's what average usually means. Yes, there has to be half the people you know being "above average", but a little bit of modesty should keep you quietly confident you might be a bit better than the rest.

Back to the voting, the people who say who runs the country are the huddled masses of the UK, average, below average, and maybe a few that are actually interested in governments and actually have a clue.

Most of the people voting either don't pay too much attention to that whole world, or are the welfare state scroungers, living in council houses, claiming government money to pay for the fact they couldn't be arsed to buy a condom, or they figured out having a kid at 15 means they will never have to work again, and other people can pay for them.
One things that scares me about having kids is how much they will cost. I can kiss goodbye to anything fun i used to do to buy overpriced GAP jumpers that will be too small in 3 months time.

Not a problem for Donna and Wayne and they just claim more for clothing.
I see their views all the time. Racism always seems to be linked to low intelligence.
It's always the stupid people moaning about how the Polish are taking all their jobs when they'd run a mile from anything the jobcentre has to offer, whilst the Immigrant will run towards the job.

Am i saying the UK's workforce is lazy? No, what i am saying is that the Polish, Lithuanian, Slovakian etc migrants who make the effort to move countries looking for work are far better than the fat dossers that sit at home claiming taxpayers money.
I'm sure those countries have lazy slobs too, but you won't see them as they wouldn't get out of bed, let alone change countries.

Now it's these more stupid people who can have quite a big effect, voting for stuff they don't understand.
Even the average people like you and me are hardly qualified to say who is the best for running an entire country.

It looks like the democratic world has walked into a trap where idiots carry the same weight as the smart, and whatever way you vote, you'll end up with the same breed of smug salesmen selling an image of an angel, and delivering a snake.

And i bet they'd even write Angel on the box, and not poke any airholes for the snake, and the snake would arrive dead.

I've now got short while before the TV debating competition starts, the idea is whoever can make the other look worse, wins the biggest house.

The End

The Magic of Magic.

There has always been magic of some description. From the very basics, anything that couldn't be explained was put down to magic.
By that reasoning, Magic in itself just means "i don't understand" and it was separated out into different possibilities, religion being one explanation, aliens and UFOs are a current favourite these days too.
Arthur C Clarke once said "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic" and it's true, anything that isn't understood step by step can be passed off as magic.
As we all know (at least, i hope we all know...) there isn't any such thing as magic, just unknowns waiting to be known.
Some, such as the numbers based stuff, is just maths, but hidden. You've probably seen the sites where you add up a whole bunch of random numbers, divide them, multiply them by something, and at the end, someone has predicted the final answer.
Others can use science, like magnets, to make objects behave in unusual ways.

If you want to be a firm sceptic, question everything, and watch what they don't want you to watch.

Your average magician is far more disciplined than they make out, every move, word, even mistake, is well planned to distract you. The simplest part of magic is confusion.

Have you ever seen those tricks where someone is sawn in half, or stands in a box with swords being thrust in?
The trick here isn't surviving the swords, or being cut in half. That's just what you are programmed to believe from all the theatricals at the start.

To find out what happens, you need to pick your jaw up off the floor, screw on your sensible head, and ask yourself a few questions, "can a person be cut in half? can someone survive being stabbed with swords?"

Usually, without a massive team of surgeons, you can't. If it was really possible, why is it done in a box so you can't see the blood and guts? I'd like to think everyone does realise it can't happen, but part of them wants to believe.

I suppose the first thing to remember is that the impossible is still impossible. Cross that bridge and you can go on to understanding what you have just seen.

So now that you understand that what you think just happened, didn't happen, start thinking of ways to make it seem like it did.

Forget about all the "show" for a second, and think what could have been done.
For the sawing in half trick, you know that the head part is going to be real, and you know that a body can't be cut in half, so logically, the whole magician bit is in the first half of the box.

For the sword tricks, you know that you can't survive being stabbed repeatedly, so the swords mustn't have entered the body.

CONGRATULATIONS! You've just figured it out!

It really is as simple as that, for most magic tricks, what you think they must have done, is exactly what they have done. Remember when i said "the trick here isn't surviving the swords, or being cut in half"? Well, now it's time to address the real tricks.

Some people now will be screaming "BUT HE..." or "I SAW HER...." something or another. Now that bit was the real trick. The illusion was a person being cut in half, but the trick was making you think they didn't just pull their feet up.

It's far easier to hide moving about inside a box than to survive some real dangerous weaponry. Loads of these little tricks are then employed, often making as little fuss about them as possible, eg. one half of the box will wiggle it's feet without being asked, or without having your attention obviously drawn to it.
The illusionist knows you will see it, but they want it to be your own discovery, as you will take onboard something you find out yourself far better than something you are told.
You'll eventually add up these trick-lets, convince yourself the quick idea you had at the start can't be the right explanation, and leave putting it down to magic.

If you question everything, you'll start to notice odd things that are done for seemingly no reason. You will try to be distracted from these, and even if you aren't, you'll probably not spot the link, and forget about it.

Take for example David Copperfield's disappearing Statue of Liberty.
New York didn't notice it missing, the viewers weren't able to see it in the act of disappearing, and they were also only allowed to see just the statue.

Put simply, you can't make it disappear, and the obvious solution is the viewers were looking somewhere else. With the large curtains at the side, and vision blocked, all that needed to be done was turn the seating area slowly, and then show a patch of blank sky. The trick here is to hide people being moved on a turntable.

All of a sudden, "the amazing disappearing statue" turns into "the amazing being turned slowly so you don't notice" and it becomes far more believable. It's a lot easier to do that, but that wouldn't get you the viewing figures.

I'm not being a magic sceptic to ruin magic, i just enjoy the challenge of unravelling someone else's smart ideas, brain vs brain.

Keep an eye on the next tricks you see, watch the magician's other hand, ask why he dropped it below the table, watch what he does with it when he shows his other hand.
Watch the backgrounds, the assistants, somewhere, you will spot the clues.
Was the amazing prediction that turned out to be true revealed before you heard the true story, or was it after?

However you think it was done is usually the right answer, now question what makes you think you could have been wrong.

I admire the skill of magicians, often they use very risky distraction and do something in plain view in the hope that everyone was distracted, and they usually get it done perfectly.

It's just that i prefer staying a step ahead...

The End