OMG! ALMOST A YEAR ON!

AND I STILL CAN'T FIND THE CAP LOCK OFF BUTTOn.

Got it...

So what has happened over the last year, well allsorts of things. Nothing particularly bad though, so this isn't going to be a review of the year (the April to April tax year I guess) with the highs and lows and there hasn't been too much low stuff!

Well, I scratched my hand a few weeks ago cutting down a tree when the saw jumped. Not just any saw, but one of those real evil looking ones with teeth like a smaller version of a big saw with massive teeth.

It's all healed though, so not really a great story.

I'm not going to go into business stuff, that's all doing well, it's growing, I get emails and customers from all over the world, so I guess I'm all multinational now.
I did forget my laptop yesterday on a job.
15 mins away from touchdown, I lean over to fire it up and realise it is still at home. These things happen I guess.

In case anyone wants closure, I just went home and picked it up. No drama.

Anyway, business is a different world, this is like a short holiday from that as far as I am concerned.

So recent things I can go off on one about...

The whole petrol crisis that never happened, but happened anyway incase it did happen (but it didn't).

Plot summary - Tanker drivers want more money. No shit... If you gave anyone a piece of paper saying "I would like more ______" you'd find most people fill in the blank with "money"

They aren't going to write custard, are they?

So, they threaten to strike. Some asshole minister then tells the UK to avoid problems of a fuel shortage by going FULL FUCKING PANIC and hoarding petrol in Jerry cans.

1) A "Jerry can" in the metal thing you see strapped to Jeeps, called "Jerry" as they were spotted being used by the Germans during the war. They hold about 20 litres, which is above the maximum you are allowed to have just hanging about a house.

2) It's pretty explosive. Not TNT explosive, but it vapourises at ambient temps into a cloud of explosive gasses. Anything not sealed can turn a room into a something like a Fuel/Air bomb ready to go off.

It's not really that great for storing around the house, and the Fire Brigade quite rightly said "don't listen to that horse's ass, don't hoard fuel".

They might have used different words, but I bet my version is cleaner than their private version.

The result? Well one poor woman has 40% burns after swapping petrol between containers in her kitchen.

Yes, it was a bad idea, there was a cooker on at the time, a recipe for disaster, but it was a panic situation she was put into by an idiot.

In a fraction of a second, her life has changed for good (or for bad, depending on how you look at it).

There are calls for the minister to resign, and quite right too. I've said before what qualifies this guys to be the country's no.1 authority on something in the government?

Just because they were on the school debating team and were good at making people swap sides in an argument?

Why aren't the top people from industry employed here instead? You can see the obvious flaw when a minister is moved about in a cabinet shuffle from art minister to defence secretary, or education to health. (examples, btw, not real cases)

What do they know or understand about each sector?

Imagine being made the director of a banking chain tomorrow. You'd screw up pretty quick no matter how smart you are unless you've got a lot of experience in that field.

I was thinking about the life changing situation just a few days ago. It's an emotive subject. I even almost wrote a few storylines and plots for films on the subject. You could make a decent blockbuster just exploring those ideas.

This is my thinking. I've seen, things... things you people wouldn't believe. People in wheelchairs, not those that have always been in them, but those who have had accidents in late childhood, early adulthood.

The age and situation is important, not taking anything away from people with other conditions at different ages, but that would be the point where school is almost over, your outside life is infront of you. You'd be old enough to have made plans for a path to take.

Long term plans, a first job as a stepping stone, a career, a trip to those Aztec cities, or the Grand canyon once you are settled with a 4 bedroom detached house.
The guys might have planned to work towards getting a Porsche, the women might want to get a horse that they always wanted, but they knew they need to get their lives set up and stable first.

Then you get hit by a car and paralysed. It could vary, maybe you loose feeling in your legs, and will never ride a motorbike, maybe you end up quadriplegic needing 24 hour care.

It could happen to anyone, could happen to you tomorrow. What is horrible is that it will happen to someone tomorrow.

Maybe it is a scrum collapse in Rugby on Monday afternoon's games lesson. Maybe it is messing about with a Jerry can of petrol and taking your face and hair off.

There's guys out in the middle east who run this kind of risk every minute. In a fraction of a second, 20 years of planning and hopes get turned upside down.

There are people who will say getting paralysed isn't the end of the world, and yes, they are right, but it is the end of the world you had planned. I'm not trying to put a downer on people who have just had a terrible accident, but they know all this stuff anyway.

They've gone through it and hopefully and reformatting their lives, but that life changing moment. What a point.

Imagine if you could go back and change it? Would you? Maybe your changes put a different perspective on things. Maybe your parallel ego gets stuck in the same dead end job, coke addict, divorce, suicide.

Compared to that, someone in a 'chair who would go round to the newer unfortunate members of the same club and help them through it would certainly have made more of a difference in their life.

And isn't that the point of life? Maybe not for you, but for me, there is an element of change the world for a better place. Make someone smile. If you can make a difference to someone, then your life has had a purpose and an effect.

There probably are films out there covering it. It's not a new idea, "A Christmas Carol" covers that plot in different ways.

But that's just a quick idea that went through my head. I know the world is full of what if's and they are something that can never be answered.

Anyway, I've ran out of things to talk about for now without straining my brain trying to be smart.

Laterz!

Birkenhead and back...

It's been an interesting day.

Get up with the buzz of a Nokia, and head for one of my trademark strong coffees.

These are real strong, and have a smell like a fire at a clutch factory. It's an acquired taste, a bit like that imported really dark bitter chocolate. The next level, hardcore.

The smell of ground coffee is addictive, although it never tastes as good as the grinds, but still, you know you're alive after a big mug of it.

Followed up by a breakfast sandwich of brown bread toast and last night's chicken pasta stuff. I'm a bit of a dustbin in terms of breakfasts, any leftovers will do. Cold pizza would be number one though, but that would require willpower to leave some in the fridge. The Earl of Sandwich, I salute you.

So once that, a shower, and time to load the car. It was sunny outside, the dew still drying off the windscreen, roads were quiet-ish. Just me, a V8 tank and 100 miles.

The first hitch was the F*cking Dension gateway.

Gateway to what? Hell? It would just loop one song, maybe make an odd scratchy noise, then repeat. 2 mins in, pull over, reformat, head off again, same crap.

Service station in a few miles off the M6, reformat... same...

I've got an open road, windows all open, shades on, and not exactly running against the clock either, I NEED driving music. Luckily, my Nokia N97 has a handy FM radio transmitter built it.

I have the BMW sat nav going, Nokia providing the tunes...

100 miles, blue skies, and I'm wearing shades.. Let's hit it.

The target was Birkenhead, a bit of tuning for a guy who has a "Fastest Ford in the UK" record. I'll have my work cut out if I can get his BMW to impress once I'm finished with it.

With about 10 miles left, I switch navs, the car one was hastily added in, and no number, no postcode support, a guess at whether is was a "street"or a "road". The nokia maps app is free on a lot of nokias now, and why get anything else?

First off, the Nokia starts telling me I'm heading the wrong way! Maybe I got street/road mixed up...

Same town anyway, can't be too far...

I follow on for a bit, heading out the motorway I just came in, and see a "57" on the screen...

57 what? That's not my speed, it's not the limit...

Jesus! It's the time to arrival! I managed to travel to a spot an hour away from the true destination. I was doing great for time, BMW nav reckoned 11.10 (well, it was 10.10am, but I haven't figured out how to change the time on the clock since BST started)

ETA -After midday for a roughly 11am meeting.

I have to pull over and double check. Maybe I hit the wrong favorite, and it was going to direct me to some place I visited a year ago, but nope, it was right....

So I call the guy, "Hey, I messed up on the directions, I'll be running late". It's no problem for the guy anyway, plenty of time left.

I hang up and head straight into a traffic jam. You know the score, lines of cones for about 2 miles, traffic for 4 miles, and at the end, just as the road hits a roundabout is one guy on a jackhammer. That killed another half hour or so, but hey, sun still out, music still on, windows down, and the odd Marlboro... It's all good...

Apart from the nav seems to be showing my route as a huge circle back to where I just was at the beginning. 20 mins of the motorway later and I'm about 5 mins away.

Then I make a wrong turn. I'm not bothered. I'm a bloke, we don't ask directions, just carry on, you'll see a sign, all roads don't specifically lead to Rome. I end up going through a toll tunnel under the Mersey.

Too busy to drop into a low gear and make some noise though. Sat nav tried to convince me just before the tunnel to break left, and jump out through the service yard. WTF?

Why is that even on the map. It might as well suggest hedge hopping. I pay the £1.50 toll for my own mistake, and let the Nav off the hook, although it won't be getting a Christmas card this year for that.

Out on the other side, I realise I have to turn round and get back, so I let the nav work out a route. I glance across ESTIMATED TIME TO ARRIVAL 103Mins.

ONE HUNDRED AND THREE.

2 mins ago I was 5 mins away...

Then it became clear. The nokia was specifically avoiding tolls, Bimmer nav didn't care. It was about a £50k car when new a decade or so ago, not the kind of person to be short of £1.50.

Nokia, however, decided to save me the £1.50 by routing me 60 miles around the Mersey.

Another £1.50 through the tunnel - an adventure in itself, as I had had ran out of change so i went to a manned toll booth.

Handed the guy a tenner, he handed me back a load of change. Pull up to the barrier, and wait for a few mins. It was like going through customs...

Nothing happened, I started to feel a bit nervous.. Was I a bit too fast on the first tunnel run?

The guy calls out "you need to put your money in the basket!"

For crying out loud, when I hand a bloke a tenner at a toll booth, I'd have thought he would have taken the toll.

Imagine the discussion-

"So you work in the toll booth?"

"Aye, Our Kid..."

"You must take some money in over a day!"

"Well, no not really..., I know I work in a toll booth, where people pay the tolls, but I just hand out change..."

Payment done, I get there. Usual well knitted garage team, and the whole lot start ripping the piss. Nice guys though, every one was friendly and cheerful, That's the 'pool for you.

I get the job done, and the guy takes it out for a spin. I'm looking over to make sure he still has the traction on as I don't want to die just yet. I calm myself thinking that if he has a 500-600bhp second car, he knows what to do behind the wheel. It did go well, very well.

The 3.0 Turbo-diesel felt far faster than the 4.4 V8 I drove there in.

On the test route, we pass a guy with some real baggy shorts on, riding a bike. "That's a bloke that is!" I turn around, and it is.. It's a really unconvincing tranny with a skirt on.

That was my first meeting with the famous Birkenhead Tranny.

And I mean famous... Later on that day, I find out he has his own "tribute" youtube song.

Real catchy too-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Op7XIb28s_I

I later reailse I've seen photos of him before at Ladies day at Aintree. Today happened to be Ladies* day, obviously his newspaper fame from last year was enough.

*There are no "Ladies" at Aintree Ladies day; there are females, with fake tans, fake nails, silicone.. ahem.. appendages.. but certainly not ladies...

Turbo guy decided to push the boat out, and ask for more boost... I don't mind in this case. this guy knows his turbos, runs a garage, so I give him a touch more, and he's doubly happy.

Job done, I head home, ignoring any kind of satellite assistance until I'm miles from anything remotely Toll-like. The journey home was a lot better. I manage to get the Dension USB stereo CD changer thingy working properly again, sun's still blazing, it's Friday afternoon, happy customer!

A few miles out, the Nav directs me away from the M6, and onto some A and B roads.. I let it off, perfect A/B road weather. Upbeat music on the stereo, heading home. Summer time had arrived!

The 2 hour drive turned into 4 hours there, maybe 2 1/2 back, but you can't be mad with blue skies!

I'm hoping someone at the far end of the Stelvio Pass is looking for a bit more power.

A crazy day, but I wouldn't have it any other way!

The End

Back once again

I'll bet about 23-26% of people finished that opening title with "with the renegade master".
There have been 70's theme pubs for ages, and 80's ones, but they are wearing a bit thin, jesus, that decade had its shot and people moved on.
80's theme pubs have managed to carry that decade on for another decade.
What happened to the love for the 90's? You can sum up the 90's as the decade when dance music appeared. Where are the 90's pubs?
Early 90's stuff was a bit crap. Go back and listen to it, and it's like meeting a childhood hero are realising they are an arse. Electronics first started to turn up, but people weren't quite sure what to do with them. These days it is worlds apart. You can hear the various backing tracks like grease in a machine, making everything run smoothly. I guess you need to know what you are doing in music producing, as it isn't plainly obvious to me when you'd need a symphonic crescendo in the back, but I can feel it working when it is done right.

The production is far better, levels balanced etc, but hey, it was new.
It moved quickly from the rave stuff into what generally has been a similar format for years. People still like some of the stuff from the mid 90's, and even kids that were born after 1992 still think that out of space - the prodigy is "proper old skool geezer, init".

That's like me thinking Fernando - ABBA is a banging tune.

I might sing it when drunk waiting for a taxi (it seems a lot funnier at 3am) but I doubt I'd let it play through when stopped at traffic lights... straight for that mute button...

The dance bit evolved, it went to the US and changed its name to Techno, moved through Europe and is happily still there, but the UK went a bit crazy.
At the end of the 90's, the first signs of speed garage arrived. Back then, it was just melodic baselines.

You're going to get some now anyway whether you like it or not...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fm5_50mL8P4

That's an intro and a half.. the baseline bit only starts about 3 mins in.
I liked that stuff, it was (is) real catchy, but more of a "gangsta" scene started to follow up, and now there is an entirely different speed garage, dubstep (fuck knows what that's all about), Grime (likewise...) and it has split.

It does start making me feel old when I think "what the hell are these kids listening to today? it's just noise!"
My dad used to say that..
Full circle...

The thing is, I still like Dutch Hardstyle.
Now, I bet most of you have no idea what that is. Well, here you go -

CAUTION - CLOWN CONTENT (Stephen King's IT sample...)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xKgAqh8VA-k

This is almost exactly the same stuff I was listening to in the "proper" nightclubs in the 90's. It's still out there, and alive in different countries.
It's fairly popular all over Europe, but not sign of it in the UK.
By the way, if you are going "What the hell is this crap?" hit the pause button.
You don't have to like it, just get an idea. But anyway, back to the non-story rambling, my music is still out there.

There's a strange situation where dancey music has expanded into different styles but stayed the same, it's gone weird but familiar.

Why I'm going on about music I guess, is because I have more time to listen to it now, and I've also swapped from pretty much a stripped out race car to a soundproofed limo, and I can actually hear stuff again apart from reverberating metal and road noise. I really look for forward to long distance jobs as I get to sit in the car for a few hours, music up and just enjoy the ride.

It helps that summer has just started too.

I wouldn't say I have SAD (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seasonal_affective_disorder) but I think everyone smiles when there is a blue cloudless sky outside (apart from drought ridden farmers).

Tomorrow I've got a 2 hour road trip up north, I'm hoping for blue skies, and getting the USB memory stick loaded up with this -

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S6WpvBHdk1c

I've been told 'you can't be angry looking at a penguin' (Polar bears might disagree) but sunshine and Will Smith is better than any penguin I know.

Summertime>Penguins.... Scientifically Proven.

Anyway, I'll leave you lot to it. If there's one thing you can take away from this (and you certainly can't claim those 5 mins of your life back) it's the failing of the penguin.

And by the way-

http://www.quotesdaddy.com/quote/839254/Joe+Moore/its-practically-impossible-to-look-at-a-penguin-and

See.. I didn't make it up...

The End

Suppose I'd better moan about something.

It's been a while, my collections of crazy thoughts have gone uncharted for a few weeks.
Some of them could have been lost forever, some of them could have been real important. I might have solved world debt/poverty/cup etc but since i forgot to jot it down, those problems will remain a little longer.
Well, lets run though a few things in my life.
Yesterday, i watched Cloverfield. I did get quite interested in the whole internet backstory, it's still out there on the net somewhere, involving some Japanese corporation and a flavouring in a drink called Slusho which somehow set a monster lose in NYC.
The general idea is like Godzilla. In fact, the idea IS Godzilla, but the monster doesn't have atomic breath.
Oceanside city get trashed by a large sea monster which walks through the town destroying everything, and the Army shoot it, find out bullets don't work, then trash the city themselves.
How they managed to get a shaky-cam version of Godzilla (but, like a new updated one, set in New York instead of Tokyo... just like the last remake of Godzilla...) past the financiers i have no idea.
I'm starting to think i directed the film and forgot about it, as everything happened just as i would have expected.

Talking of obvious film scenes, how many times have they done that "cut the blue wire" thing? I don't even need to mention bomb disposal do i? You already can picture the scene, and what happens in the end? They cut the red wire.
Is there a terrorist training manual that specifically states what colour wires should be used? Why even have 2 different colours. I'm sure i couldn't be arsed to track down some blue wire for something i'm about to blow up.

Current news, fox attacks twin babies in London. I'm not going to bother with the whole city folk vs country folk, as that argument is always country folk trying to prove they are better by living 15 miles away from a petrol station, the place always stinks on cowshit, there is only one pub nearby and the barmaid has already told you to take a hike.
City folk on the otherhand just carry on being awesome, and couldn't give a toss about some bitter yokel trying to prove how great and worldly wise they are 'cos they own a 30 year old landrover.
What i did find slightly amusing was the newspapers that had to run a picture of a fox in the story.
Not the fox, just any fox, for those who don't know what a fox looks like.
I'd like to think everyone knows what a fox looks like, it's just an orange dog.
Apparently there are 50k foxes in the UK, with 30k in urban London, so maybe citydwellers should now be classed as more of an authority on foxes.

Another news story that pissed me off a little was a paper reporter that found a .22 shell casing after the recent Cumbrian shooting spree. They dragged it out to a full column on how they were better than the police who were searching for them, and how it could be important evidence. They told police, and someone later collected it.
WELL DONE, there will be a medal in the post, with the famous "point scoring" ribbon, handed out only to those who can prove they are better than the cops by finding evidence of a shooting at the scene of a shooting that the entire country knew about.

Well, that made me feel better.

The End

Alcohol, the cheaper version of Sodium Pentothal

There once was a drug, a magic truth serum, which made all subjects only tell the truth.
This was called Sodium Pentothal, what the C.I.A didn't realise is there is already a drug that does the same, in easier to administer doses.
This other truth drug is called...
ALCOHOL...
Alcohol is a depressant, that doesn't mean it makes you depressed, quite the opposite, infact, it depresses the normal controls you have on civil life.
Currently, i am under the effect of plenty of bottles of San Miguel and Vodka/Red Bulls, and what does it do?
Well, the effects are quite simple, they remove the barriers of common decency, what was previously off limits is now a great topic of conversation.
So many times have i heard the line " i didn't mean to say that, i was drunk", and i guess it is true, they never MEANT to say it, but they thought if.
It's the thought that counts, and the phrase in the UK goes..
"Never a truer word said in jest".
In reality, "never a truer word said when drunk"
If you really need to know someone, get them drunk beforehand.
Why bother with injections, when 6 bottles of pilsner will do the same trick.
Always be careful of what you say when drunk. You might mean it, but you also might mean to say it at a different, quieter time.
Never a truer word, spoken when drunk.
And i'm well pissed up, so therefore, what i say id true.
Here's to alcohol, the cause of, and end of, all of life's problems.
The End

Lib-Demographics

Firstly, i'd like to say LOSERS!!!!
I'll come back to that point later. Anyway, The whole guessing at elections was getting a little crazy.
The Daily Mirror, usually quite a moderate newspaper, took to some rabid support for the Labour party. That's fine, there is a lot of Labour supporters out there, so undoubtedly there would be at least one paper following them, but the reporting was pure bullshit!
Stories would lead with "Cameron gets a battering in the polls and Brown stands firm!" or similar, and then they would have a little coloured icon, the size of a £1 coin showing Conservative still ahead and Labour trailing.
In other words, the front pages and headlines were pure fiction that the general readership scanned straight over and believed.
They also sent a chicken to follow Tory Dave.
A chicken...
There must have been a real smooth talking guy at the counter of the fancy dress shop...

So with rose-tinted, chicken-lovin' newspapers aside, lets move on to the party that never stops.

So what happened with Lib-Dem? Looking at the opinion polls, they were matching Labour right up until the end.
If you went anywhere near the Internet, you'd assume you've just hacked your way into one of Nick Clegg's dreams.
Twitter and Facebook was full of "fans", and i mean fans in the "i'm mildly interested, and haven't done much today, so i'll click this FB button" fans.
Tory support was almost non existent apart from a few forums. It almost seemed socially unacceptable to be a Tory.

Historically, the UK was always a 2 horse race, with a mysterious donkey that trots in as they are handing out the medals, and this morning was no different.

What seemed to happen was a face was put to a newcomer, it suddenly became fashionable, and everybody was Pro-LibDem.

As the results show though, "everybody" wasn't actually everybody at all, but a small section of fashionistas with a loud voice, And this is what Demographics is all about.

Demographics as i understand it (i've never bothered to actually look up it's definition) is like classifying groups and identifying patterns in them. You'll never get a true picture of an average, as the average is always tainted.

Do a survey on a highstreet on a monday morning, and the results will be different to a saturday morning.
The views of the people haven't changed, just that monday's questionnaire is full of jobless people spending money, housewives, and people who have enough money to free them from 9-5 slavery.
Twitter and facebook is plagued with the narcissistic people that want as much attention as possible. The internet attracts a certain type too.
The cross-section visible on the 'net, and where-ever the polls were done were heavily tainted with the Liberal fan club as to totally overpower the true data.

I fell for it, i must admit. For a lot of it, i thought that Lib-Donkey has amazingly turned itself around and was possible for a photo-finish for second place.
I even had a contingency plan of a fast boat tied up at Dover incase of a shock win.

And how did it end? Lib Dem LOST 5 seats.
LOST!!
If you believed the hype, they were going to steam-roller across the country, painting the towns yellow, and they ended up doing worse than the last time, when no one even knew who they were!

Lib-Dem is the Apple of politics. It looks good, your mates all like it too, but if you look closer, you'll notice it has big problems that people pretend they can't see.
"It just works"
Really Mr Jobs? It doesn't work with Flash though does it?, it doesn't run countless professional softwares, and forever i am seeing people asking about trying to sync iTunes.
Take the iPod, i once came across a Chinese company making clones. They make some awesome kit in Shenzhen, and they had MP3 players that looked just like an iPod.
Someone asked it they worked with iTunes.
Well, it's a windows based MP3 player, it works with anything you stick on it. Doesn't need syncing, special file types, specific software that goes crazy if you have 2 PCs, it... and i'm dying to say this...
It just works with everything...
Fashion and hype strikes again. Everyone wants to be seen with white headphones on.

If you carried out a Poll on twitter for best computing format, you'd see something similar, everyone would say Microsoft sucks, Apple would be the clear leader, and Linux would be something to be feared by both.

Back in the real world, what have we got. Microsoft dominance.

Demographics is something you have to factor into everything you read.
Yes, i'm so cynical, i'd need to test myself first before i'd believe it, but there is a rock steady reason underneath.
For any stream of info, for any opinion, for any questionnaire, is it a true representation, or is the average group below average...

The End

ps. LOSERS!

New Tactics!

When i first started this, i was full of amazing stories and opinions i wanted to force upon the public, and it was great. Thing is, i've felt i've kinda set the world to rights, and finished.
I often spend time thinking of new articles to write, and i've just realised that blogging isn't about that.
I've had "online magazine'o'crap" on my mind instead, so whilst you may get the odd directed piece, i'll probably swap to a more flowing, general style.

Now i've got that crap out of the way, lets discuss the current issues.
First up on the agenda is a missing cat. He's black, pretty big for a cat, and he's also gone A.W.O.L.
He is (i'm not going to say was just yet ;) ) about 13 or so years old, getting on a bit, and called Gyver, after an anime show that was on TV about the time we got him as a kitten. If anyone is familiar with the Gyver "bio-boosted armour" which is a defence system were a kid suddenly grows incredibly sharp appendages, they'll probably figure out why kitty got the name.
He was last seen one night as i put him into the garage, as usual for the last 13 years or so, and the next morning he wasn't there for breakfast.

Quite rude in modern society, but we all have our off days. That evening, no sign, and no traces since.
The odd bits are he is in good health, i'd have expected him to slow down a little, go off food etc if he wasn't feeling well, so an illness would have to be pretty sudden.
As in within hours.
Also, sick animals tend to go somewhere quiet to die, and the trees at the bottom of the garden where he would hang out didn't show any traces.
He went missing between about 12pm and 6am, and was streetwise enough not to go near anyone when outside of the house, so that rules out him getting a kick up the arse from a passing drunk.
It would also be too late for him to be getting shut inside a shed or similar.
That only leaves a couple of options left.
Human/feline foul play is unlikely at this time of night, but maybe hit by a car?

Well, i don live on a pretty major dual carriageway, but the cat grew up here, and i've never seen him venture out past the front garden wall towards the road.

Would he do that in the hours of darkness? still unlikely, as i spend most of my time sitting near the window, like now, in a darkened room watching the traffic and people go by.
Plus, i'm out of the house long before the council bodysnatchers (yes, there is actually a department that pick up roadkill) and no dead cats about.

The neighbours are dogwalkers too, and there network hasn't seen anything either.

It's seems the concrete jungle just came alive and took him, no bodies, no blood...

There are often mentions of big cat sightings in the UK, most of which happen to be idiots zooming in on a regular cat, or just videoing a dog, and pointing out every detail that screams "dog" as evidence it is a cat, but in this case, the mystery is why the lack of big cat sighting...

I'd put a pic up, but haven't got any to hand, but black, furry, greenish eyes etc...
you know the drill...

The End